One of the things I am so grateful I get to do again is dancing. It was one of the many activities I have always wanted to pursue as a hobby but was too shy to do. Since this year has been about me getting in control of my life, I have started dancing again. No matter how shy I am, I did it, wobbling next to those who’s been doing it for years. And also because my friends who are into KPop asked if I would like jam with them and cover some dances. I was in for fun.

I danced most of my childhood. There was not one school event that my friends and I weren’t on stage stepping up to a messy mix of the latest songs on the charts. In high school, my smooth pop grooves dancing were translated to big and strong lines for cheerleading. In our early years in New Zealand, our dance crew took home the championship trophy for a dance competition. I may always be at the back corner (sometimes a beat behind), but whenever I get asked if I could fill in a crew, I never hesitate.

Alas, I was plagued by my insecurities that when my dance friends all dispersed, so did my dancing. Going to classes alone would be incredibly difficult for me – it had always been a group thing for me. I did not have enough drive to just do it and I had always thought I wasn’t good enough.

Something about growing up, though, gives me the courage to not care and just try things. My new obsession with K-pop re-exposed me back to dancing and that little childhood dream of wanting to be a confident dancer. Not the professional kind. Just the kind that can whip up a freestyle randomly and feel confident doing it. I watched one of my friends learn a routine just by watching a tutorial on Youtube. It somehow assured me that it was okay to do it on my own, I mean… the pro does it! I got to see how she did it and I felt safe. And now, it’s the best kind of exercise, and I get to do my favorite K-pop routines.

More about the dance cover in the next few stories.